IN SEARCH OF SPIRITUALITY by Loracoak

We all experience a need deep within to understand those things which we fear we may never understand. We ask questions about our existence on this world, or even the existence of this world among the many worlds in the universe. Perhaps we question if we are the only universe. So many times this search for understanding leads us into a higher realm of questioning. We each progress differently into the discovery of our own spiritual-self and have to explore where our hearts and minds need to go. We hear the inner voices that communicate solely with us, and often find guidance through organized groups, established religions, or friendships we grow to trust. In many instances to fully find the peace and knowledge we require, we have to trust ourselves. We learn to discover what we need to believe or where we belong in the whole spectrum of human spiritual existence.
In some ways we find it difficult to accept the idea of a human – spiritual connection and we view the spiritual as something beyond us, out of our reach, invisible, and impossible to touch. In some instances we find that the spiritual connection is within us and it can’t be experienced unless we are receptive. In some beliefs, there is no connection between the spirit and humanity. Some believe there is no spirit. Others believe there is no humanity.
For me, the journey to find spirituality is an ongoing process, evolving through years in an auto-pilot existence. I listened to those around me in my immediate reality for guidance and although I didn’t feel totally a part of my surroundings in this area, I proceeded into the quest without questioning the process. In recent years I went through a transformation. My dreams were lost forever because of my daughter’s disabilities. I saw for her a life without a future. Surgeries and forty-something pre-menopausal health issues had sculpted an emotional masterpiece. It was during this time poetry found me and I was allowed to receive this valued gift from the spirit, which resides within my heart. This gift took hold and allowed me to begin a forward movement in my journey of rediscovering the spiritual side of who I was meant to be and hopefully in the future, where I am meant to go. I now find comfort and acceptance through the written word and a certain peaceful healing in the midst of tears.
I opened my heart and listened to the beauty around me. I learned to appreciate the simple truth that there is beauty in all things. I saw daughter as the beautiful woman-child she was and learned to appreciate her innocence. The fact that she is forever spiritually healed in the eyes of God, allows me the freedom to focus on myself long enough each day to take a deep breath, close my eyes, and lightly caress my cheek. It is in this instant I connect with my inner spirit. Although I haven’t discovered exactly what that spirit is, I know and accept it as an intuitive part of my being, and I am learning with each day to trust this inner spirit as it moves me forward through my life journey.
We all have the ability within ourselves to find that inner spirit to guide us. If we take time to realize the wonder as the sunrise welcomes each new day, sit and listen to the voices in the wind or the silence of the night, we can connect with our spirit and become whole. When we discover our true individualities, and learn to believe in our own capabilities, we will become stronger and the best we are capable of being so we can better serve humanity. Learning to serve humanity should become our ultimate goal, because without humanity, there will be no future.