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She said, "Come. Sit with me for awhile and listen to what I have to tell you." She took my hand and led me to the swing on the front porch. I knew this must be important. Rarely did I get the opportunity to sit on the swing with her. It was her special place; reserved for only special guests. Every so often she would invite me to join her and I would be held captive as she weaved wonderful and exciting tales which always held several skillfully disguised lessons about life. It would be several weeks, and sometimes years, before I realized the meaning of her stories and the lessons she was trying to teach me. Somehow I knew this invitation was going to involve a special lesson.
Below I've listed some of the main points of her lessons. Perhaps it will help you the next time you are feeling like love and friendship will never come your way.
- You have the right to be happy.
Life is not a party all the time. No one will get through life without some heartache.
But if you feel that you are constantly having to justify your happiness or are made to feel
guilty for feeling happy, then it's time to find someone who wants you to be happy, thinks
of ways to make you happy, and joins in your happiness with you.
- You have the right to expect honesty in a relationship.
Those who care for you will be honest with you. Sometimes that means telling you things that you might not want to hear- as long as it's done in your best interest and not done out of spite, anger or deceit, then what you are being told deserves your serious consideration.
- You have the right to realize your dreams.
Dreams have a purpose. They allow us to imagine what "could be." Those that truly care about you will want you to dream, to imagine yourself as you want to be. Someone that wants you to stop dreaming is trying to take away your hope, and life is very miserable without hope. They are also trying to tell you that you don't deserve or cannot achieve anything that you do not already have. Don't believe them !
- You have the right to be free of abuse - physical, emotional and sexual.
Abuse in any form is an expression of control. It is NOT love. If someone physically or sexually abuses you- RUN, don't walk away from that person. Emotional abuse is harder to recognize. It leaves no visible bruises or scars, yet it is every bit as harmful to you. This type of abuse takes away your ability to dream about a better tomorrow, makes you question your every decision, and takes the longest time to heal. Realize the signs of this type of abuse and promise yourself that you will not allow it.
- You have the right to be forgiven and to forgive.
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. There is no shame in that. What you have to strive for is not perfection, but how to learn from your mistakes. Think of your mistakes as the action and the lessons you've learned from them as the reaction.
Forgiveness fits into this equation, too. Once you make a mistake and learn the lesson, be sure to finish the episode with forgiveness. Sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest skill to learn. This same principle applies to others. They will make mistakes just as you will. Hopefully, they will learn the lesson from that experience. Your part in this is to forgive them.
- You have the right to live in peace and harmony.
Believe it or not, our lives were meant to be lived in peace and harmony. The kind of peace that comes from within; that allow you to be comfortable with who you are. Harmony is the ability to get along with others. A person who possesses both of these skills will act like a magnet to those around him or her. They will want to know what secret you have that they don't !
- You have the right to compromise.
Compromise involving relationships requires a level of maturity and state of mind that allows you to see the other person's point of view. Unless a person's reason for a decision are totally selfish, two or more people should be able to reach a solution that will benefit all of those the decision will effect. It is an act of selflessness that acts for the good of the whole, not only for the good of one.
- You have the right to be involved in important decisions that will effect you.
Life is full of choices. In a relationship where a decision is going to have an impact on you, it is only fair - indeed imperative - that you have a say in the forming of that decision. Choices about your life should include your imput, otherwise, you're losing a part of yourself and being controlled by another.
- You have the right to change your mind.
Life is a series of never-ending changes and challenges. Nothing is stagnant. One decision made under a different set of circumstances will likely not work in new situation. Feel free to change your mind if you've thought long and hard and have concluded that a change must take place for your good, as well as for the good of any others this decision will effect.
- You have the right to be loved and respected.
This lesson is one of the most important ones she taught me. It sounds so simple, but I found it to be the one that took me the longest to understand. It requires putting all the other lessons into practice- and then you still risk being hurt. Remember that the best kind of love involves respect- respect for yourself and respect for others. We all want to be loved and respected. Achieving this is the ultimate goal.
a TOUCH OF LOVE page
